Tamale day

Today was a work day. We made six dozen tameles. I love the smell of the sauce cooking. The house smells so good. Eating a couple at the end of the day is such a delight. Rosario helped me clean my daughters room so all her stuff is in boxes. Oh she has so much stuff. Mostly shoes, hats, purses, clothes. We put my sons stuff in a big box. He doesn't have so much. Then I got a call from the renters that they would not be moving in that apartment. At least the work is done for someone else to look at the place. This time I'll get a contract. I'm too trusting.
I'm still at my wits end on what is causing this pain. I'm going to my doctor of natural medicine tomorrow. If that doesn't work I'll keep working on this problem. Its difficult to focus on it when i'm losing sleep. One different angle I have is emotional pain. Maybe I havent' forgiven from my marriage and I still fear. I have nightmares about him and his kids. I listen to scriptures as I drive my car. Today I heard a part of the scriptures when one of the prophets feel pain of his sorrows no more. I'm going to spend much of the next couple of days praying and feasting on the word of God through the scriptures. I want to feel the pains of my sorrows no more. I know all I have to go through is for my good and to strengthen me. I'd like to say...hey...I'm strong enough here...please spare me. But I need to trust and develop my faith. I've been so messed up on the interferon and ribas that I lost my spiritual strength. I was so happy to go to all three Church meetings on Sunday. It made me feel much happier.