I'll tell you what went wrong

I had a terrible week. I usually keep the Sabath Day holy. I go to Church and come home and rest. Its saved me from having added stress. That is the one day I count on and my body and mind count on to rest.
This Sunday I came home from Church and lay in Bed with my laptop. I was trying to buy health insurance on line for my adult children. It was such a hassle. It wasn't set up very well and I had to start over many times. I felt like killing the computer. That made me very stressed. I them begin to think of how my children should have done this themselves since they are unemployed. But I told them Id do it and felt I must keep my word. I justified working on Sunday by thinking it was service for my kids. It was not really, it was work...hard work. That made me so stressed I didn't sleep all night. Monday was a big tamale making day. Then my daughter had a flat on Monday. I went to help her. We got in a argument. I came home and cried. Rosario was there to hold me while I cried. It felt so nice. After we delivered the tamales and I went home...I called my kids over. I wanted them to help me more. To be more thoughtful. I needed to express my feelings. They didn't understand and just felt I was selfish. I felt unable to communicate my feelings and I felt unloved. I wonder if many post tx patients feel this way. I was aways generous before tx. I must have more bounderies now. This next Sunday I will do what I have always done ...that is to rest after Church. Fix a simple meal and just recover from the week. I've learned my lesson. My body and mind must have that time off. I believe we get blessed from obedience to Gods laws. That they are there for our good and happiness. I am learning to delegate things to my children that they should do themselves. It was a terrible week but one full of learning about myself. I am still very fragile.